Swimming Against the Tide
by Dr. Kixx Goldman

“George Orwell’s novel 1984 brilliantly expresses how human beings may be induced to sacrifice everything they hold dear and true—including their sense of self—for the sake of being loved and approved of by someone in a position of authority.” Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD.

Hello Dear Reader!


This is the Part 1 of a three part blog. Part 1 addresses the efficacy and safety of three vaccines and my subsequent decision. In Part 2, I’ll be discussing alternative modes of preventing and healing Covid. In Part 3, I’ll be considering the risks of censorship and face coverings.

Kixx’s Note:

I would like to acknowledge the seriousness of this coronavirus. It has been legitimately compared to influenza, but has likely wreaked more havoc.


First, my foundational premise: I believe that the collective health and well-being of our society must be balanced with the health, needs and well-being of individuals — and ultimately the rights of those individuals. I believe we need to ask ourselves if that’s what’s happening now.

My opinion, expressed here, is drawn from reading and research, much of which has been censored or not available to the public.

According to naturopath and researcher, Dr. Michael Murray, there are many instances where what the media and health experts are telling us about Covid “appear to be politically, or perhaps financially motivated rather than the truth.”


The three vaccines available to us in the US (Pfizer, Moderna or Johnson & Johnson) are still in an experimental state and have not been adequately tested on humans over a significant time period. They have led to serious side effects in a large number of people.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of turning on the news, picking up a newspaper or reading in a column on the internet that those of us who have decided not to take the vaccine, are “vaccine hesitant.” The other night at a social event, a prominent podcast host sputtered across the table at my husband and me, “you’re conspiracy theorists.” In reference to  my position, an esteemed group of my psychology colleagues would undoubtedly say my “denial defense” was at work.

Please do not label me or lump me together with anti-vaxxers, deniers, conservatives, Republicans, Trumpists, conspiracy theorists or even the residents of Mississippi because, for very logical and well-considered reasons,  I do not consider it safe to have an experimental vaccine with unknown effects injected into my body. I don’t believe the research has been rigorous.

I do not believe that the health and needs of all individuals are served by a universal vaccination mandate. The mandates are based on questionable untested and unsubstantiated assumptions of the goodness, efficacy and safety of the vaccines. They remain simply as a means of social control.

Speaking of “denial,” Dr. Austin Ratner writes in Psychology Today, Aug. 24, 2021, that “psychological denial has become a crisis on its own, as it interferes with public health efforts to contain the spread of Covid-19.” But Dr. Ratner’s logic is rather distorted. He implies that, radio personality Phil Valentine’s refusal to get the vaccine caused his demise and, therefore, we should all get the vaccine, and, if we don’t, “we’re in denial.”

That might make some sense if we could count on the efficacy and safety of the vaccines. If they had not led to serious, sometimes life-threatening side effects for many. And if you believe that the vaccines in question are the best or only way to prevent and treat Covid. (I will be addressing that point further in this blog.)

My response to Dr. Ratner’s assertion depends on whether we believe the information the government has given us and if we don’t believe that there is a great deal of other information they are withholding or censoring. I believe Dr. Ratner has skipped a few steps and is following his own perception of the “truth,” not borne out by the facts.

I do agree with scientists: virologist, immunologist and infectious disease researcher, Dr. Robert Malone (Inventor of using “RNA as a drug and core mRNA and DNA vaccine technologies”), who notes the Biden administrations strategy to universally vaccinate in the middle of the pandemic is bad science.

Dr. Malone presents four flawed assumptions driving the Biden strategy. I will briefly summarize the assumptions here. (`This is by no means a complete summary of Dr. Malone’s article. For a more complete analysis, the link for Dr. Malone’s article follows my blog):

Universal vaccination can eradicate the virus and secure economic recovery by achieving herd immunity.—The flaw: Unlike polio and smallpox, the virus is now deeply embedded.

The vaccines are (near) perfectly effective.
Currently available vaccines are quite “leaky.” (this would be a reference to the breakthrough infections).

Dr. Malone notes that in some cases, they may prevent severe disease or death.
The flaw: they only reduce the risk of infection.

The vaccines are safe.
The flaw: Scientists , physicians and public health officials recognize risks that are rare but “by no means trivial.” Side effects include serious cardiac and thrombotic conditions and many more. Virologists fear more unknown side effects because of the experimental nature and newness of the vaccine.

Durability of protection from the virus
The flaw: Current vaccines may offer only 180 day protection. Repeated booster shots at six month intervals, each with a small risk, can add up to a big risk.

With regard to the efficacy assumption, data from the UK, Singapore and Israel shows that the percentage of unvaccinated people contracting Covid is nearly the same as people getting the shot, which calls into question its protection against infection.

Based on user and doctor surveys and Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting Data (VAERS), it has been estimated that at least 150,00 people have died from one of the Covid vaccines. According to reliable—most often censored – literature, I don’t believe the current vaccines (excepting Novavax, which has yet to be released) are safe.

The adverse events, reported by the CDC but not readily available to the public, include many cardiovascular and neurological symptoms. Serious adverse events reported in a seven month time period total more than all 70 vaccines combined over the past 30 years. There is evidence of blood clotting in 62% of patients, post vaccination.

Considering these negative outcomes, my tolerance is severely tested when I hear the media mantra accusing me of doing harm to my brothers and sisters by not conforming to what’s been dictated by “health experts” (aptly referred to by some as “desk jockeys”), authorities closeted in Washington, who claim to have the answers. I would rather trust those doctors and health care professionals who’ve had experience working in the trenches with Covid patients. They are the people who are qualified to understand the characteristics of the virus and know what treatments work best.

In Part Two, I’ll be reviewing the pros and cons of alternative ways of managing the pandemic, such as prevention and/or early treatment with repurposed drugs and support of natural immunity to the virus.

Part Three will address Censorship and Consideration of Diverse Opinions

Having the vaccine should be a matter of choice!

I would like to think we live in a pluralistic society. A pluralistic society is a diverse one, where the people in it believe all kinds of different things and tolerate each other’s beliefs even when they don’t match their own. Lexico – A UK dictionary. A society composed of different ethnic groups or cultural traditions, or in the political structure of which ethnic or cultural differences are reflected. —  Vocabulary.com

I’ve read many articles and watched many videos from the limited selection of uncensored information.

I’m forwarding the links below because they best articulate my Point of view regarding the governments’ handling of the pandemic and the covid19 vaccine.



Robert Wallace Malone, M.D. https://www.rwmalonemd.com/news

Michael T. Murray, N.D.  https://doctormurray.com/

Tialsite news: Covid 19 Assembly, UK August 22, 2021

.facebook.com videos with Dr. Robert Malone and  Dr. Erin Stair



Speak From Your Heart and Be Heard: Stories of Courage and Healing is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle and some independent bookstores.

Warm thoughts,
Kixx Goldman