Inspirational Ideas:
HEALING MY OWN TRAUMA OF AGING AND
HOW TO HEAL YOUR TRAUMA OF AGING— LIKE THE QUEEN BEES
Uplifting Film
“If Ellen Burstyn can do it, so can I. And so can Joe Biden.” That’s what I repeated to myself as I watched in awe as this charming Netflix trope of the “Queen Bees” (photo above) unfolded on our screen.
The story is about Helen, an older, independent widow – played by Ms. Burstyn– who moves temporarily into a senior community while her home is being repaired, with surprising results–including romance with Dan –played by James Caan.
The message of the film is about the possibilities of life in senior years.
In the film, made a few years ago, Ellen Burstyn is an attractive, articulate, fit looking woman in her mid-eighties.
Although I, too, qualify as an aging member of society, I prefer to think of myself, like Helen’s character, as an energetic and fit ‘superager.’
Hooked and encouraged by this uplifting tale, the film was a great balm for my own traumatic responses which had been in great need of healing, after watching Fareed Zakaria’s CNN show, on October 1st of ’23:
To my great dismay, only two days after she’d been laid to rest, Diane Feinstein’s photo flashed on the screen during Fareed’s Sunday GPS (global public square) show, without so much as a respectful word to honor an accomplished senator who’d contributed so much to our country.
I was appalled when Ms. Feinstein’s photo was followed by Fareed’s question posed to his guests,
“What is it about American politics that’s attracting a kind of Gerontocracy?”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of Fareed’s Sunday morning show. His messages raise my awareness of current events and I often agree with his politics and analyses of troubling world situations. Issues are usually carefully considered and explored with fairness and intelligence.
The October 1st show was no exception—at least, up until that segment!
In this unfortunate segment, Fareed’s ‘gerontocracy’ question became a jumping off point for a desultory discussion on the pitfalls of “old folks in politics” and bashing of several of our aging politicians in the US.
When Fareed declared Ms. Feinstein was “not the only person in the US Senate these days who makes you wonder whether they’ll die before they retire. Is America’s leadership so old,” the full flush of fury began to take up residence in my body. I’d been close to hurtling a missive at my TV screen before, but this time, I came the closest.
Before that Sunday show, I’d been reading impressive tributes to Ms. Feinstein, the veteran senator. I’d been delighted to see the recognition for a woman who “worked so tirelessly on behalf of California and all of America.” (Bill Clinton). Throughout her illustrious career, she championed worthwhile causes and fought for what she believed in. Her work made a powerful, positive impact on the lives of so many.
Alas, none of the tributes to Dianne Feinstein were even acknowledged or alluded to in Fareed’s discussion.
My shock at this trashing of our older population led me to the Internet and my exploration of the American Psychological Association’s “take” on our society’s attitudes on aging.
In her cover story on the Home Monitor, Author Kirsten Weir reported that, “Psychologists are examining the age discrimination that pervades American culture and helping people to reimagine healthier relationships with their older selves…
Ageism is one of the last socially acceptable prejudices. Psychologists are working to change that.
“From antiaging face creams to wisecracking birthday cards about getting older to “OK, boomer” memes, the message is clear: Being old is something to avoid.
Never mind that, if we have the good fortune to live a long life, inaccurate stereotypes about aging will harm all of us.”
Kirsten Weir defined Ageism as “discrimination against older people because of negative and inaccurate stereotypes”—and noted that it’s so ingrained in our culture that we often don’t even notice.
The latest case in point is the media feeding frenzy directed at President Biden, invoking his age. In his February release of a 400 page report re the classified documents kept by Biden, special counsel Robert K. Hur saw fit to sling age-related arrows at the president, alleging his memory lapses and saying that the president couldn’t even remember the date of his son Beau’s death. These remarks, aside from their duplicity, did not address the purpose of his report and went far beyond its scope.
(It should be noted that, in general, the conclusions of the report were not accurately presented by the media. Reporters said, incorrectly, that Mr. Hur had concluded there simply wasn’t enough evidence to pursue criminal charges. Legal experts that read the whole report, present a different story, noting that Mr. Hur chose to present his “most relevant conclusion, which definitively exonerated Mr. Biden,” at the end of the report rather than at the beginning.) (Andrew Weismann, MSNBC)
With reference to ageist remarks about Mr. Biden, professor and historian Timothy Snyder notes, “the age thing is a way of not thinking about what happened during the Biden administration, when this president did more (for our country) than any other president since FDR.”
REFERENCES
Kirsten Weir, March 1, 2023 Vol. 5 No. 2 Print version: page 36 Home Monitor on Psychology, Cover Story, A New Concept of Aging
Fareed Zakaria, GPS, CNN, October 1, 2024
Lawrence O’Donnell MSNBC Feb 12, ‘24
AP, Politico, PBS
A word of heartfelt gratitude to the savvy creators of “Queen Bees,” who helped me heal my trauma. And thank you to the American Psychological Association and to Kirsten Weir for shining light on this important topic.